How Not to Make a Cheese Ball

How Not to Make a Cheese Ball

If I tell you something, will you promise not to make fun of me? Will you promise not to hold it against me years to come?

You promise?

Okay, here goes…

I put my hand in a blender.

The cheese ball incident went a little like this:

1) An invitation to a girls-only gathering arrives in my inbox and I immediately start plotting to make a cheese ball, per the special request of the hostess.

2) I get my hands on some Seriously Sharp Cheddar from Cabot and do everything I can to forget about it in the fridge until cheese ball day.

sharp cheddar cheese

3) Cheese ball day arrives and I’m excited. I’m shredding. I’m having a great time in the kitchen.

mountain of shredded white cheddar

4) I decide to use my immersion blender to mix up the cheese ball. I don’t choose the blender because it’s the best choice…because it’s not. A mixer would work way better. But it was handy, and I was in a hurry.

bottom of hand blender

5) The cheese ball is done. I make a few mini-versions to enjoy ahead of time.

mini cheese dips

6) I notice the blender is packed full of cheesy goodness, so I use a couple clean fingers to dig it out.

7) Oh, S#%!. I accidently hit the button.

I know what you’re thinking…Why didn’t you unplug the blender? Why did you put your stupid fingers in there? Why did you use a HAND BLENDER TO MAKE A CHEESE BALL? Those are all very good questions, and I wish I had an answer for you.

Call it a blond moment. Call it a lapse in judgment. I call it an unfortunate cheese ball incident.

Not to worry, though. A trip to the emergency room was probably not necessary. Aside from a fingernail that will never be the same, all is well. No stitches, no broken bones. The girls even got to enjoy the cheese ball.

sara in hospital bed

As you can see in the photo, it was my middle finger that got mangled. And, yes, I am drinking from a specimen cup…apparently that’s all they have for drinking water in the ER.

Recipe for a Naked Cheese Ball

*8 ounces cream cheese

*8 ounces sharp cheddar cheese, shredded

*2 tsp. Worcestershire sauce

*1 tsp. lemon juice

*1 tsp. Dijon mustard

*1/2 tsp. salt

How to safely make a cheese ball: Mix all the ingredients together with a MIXER. Using clean hands, shape cheese mixture into a ball or log. You can even make mini-cheese balls like I did.

A lot of cheese balls have parsley, nuts, or some other kind of garnish coating the cheese ball. This one does not, which is why I call it a naked cheese ball. Really, you can’t go wrong here.


ps – This is my second cheese ball. The first one went off without a hitch. You can read about it here: How to Make a Cheese Ball.

11 Responses to “How Not to Make a Cheese Ball”

  1. How awful!!! But you know you really shouldn’t be flipping us off – WE didn’t tell you to stick your finger in the blender and hit the button lol 😉 I hope the cheeseball was well worth all the trouble. Feel better!

  2. anyone who has a trip to the ER gets a full day pass of free flip-offs ! 😀

    …and I think it is a secret JOKE among ER staff to ONLY have specimen cups to drink out of. this has happened to me too, and to a friend of mine!!

    the dip sounds awesome, btw…

  3. Jenny says:

    Too funny, really. Glad you’re OK!

  4. saral says:

    @Rachel – Can’t say the cheese ball was worth the ER trip…no dip is worth almost losing a finger. Hahaha. No, but really. It’s fine and I hope it’s the last time I have to flip you off.

    @Kristina – You make me laugh. The nurse told me that they drink from those same cups at all their holiday parties, too. I think they like it.

    @Jenny – Me too!

  5. Chung says:

    Eeeeeeek!!! Owie! I cringed. I shuddered. Saucy D., you are such a trooper. I’ve done some pretty dumb things in the kitchen too – always because I was in a rush. I hope your hand is healing quickly!! Are you putting the hand blender (you just redefined the appliance, btw) to rest for a while?

    • Sara says:

      The power of keyword research. I found that more people look for “hand blender” (instead of “immersion blender”), so I use that term instead. 🙂

      Oh yea, and I shudder when I think about the incident too. Wowie! What was I thinking?!?!?

  6. Monet says:

    Oh no! I felt a little woozy when I read this post. I’m such a baby when it comes to blood! Isn’t it funny how we often find ourselves doing things that we know we shouldn’t in the kitchen…this post serves as a cautionary tale for me! Thanks for sharing, sweet woman. I’m glad you are ok!

  7. Jen says:

    Ouch! Oh God, that must have been the worst feeling. Glad you’re ok. These kind of accidents happen to the best of us.

    Also, your fingernail may return to normal. I cut off a bit of my fingertip and nail on a bandsaw in high school, and my nail looks normal now (uh, more than a decade later…)

  8. We’ve all had close encounters in the kitchen usually when we’re hurrying. So glad you didn’t do serious damage nor ruin your cheese ball.

  9. Lea Ann says:

    That just takes my breath away to think about getting mangled by that thing. I cut myself pretty badly over Christmas and it’s still not right. Probably should have had a stitch or two. ok, now for some fun. Well what fun is it if we can’t make fun of you??? And that photo is too funny!

  10. Oh noes! Glad to hear it wasn’t too terrible. But the Cheeseball sounds amazing. Sending healing vibes your way!

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